Death Note: Secret of the Infected Shinigami
by bestrighter
Summary: Light and Ryuk learn of a new powerful shinigami who plans to break all the rules and cripple the real world's society as we know it.
1. Chapter 1

It was night outside, rain was smashing against the window very quietly. Light was sitting on his chair, combing his hair.  
"I just LOVE combing my hair" yelled Light at his lamp. "It is so satisfying!"  
Ryuk broke through the window, but then quickly saw Light and froze in his toes. He turned around and fixed the window with his hands before Light noticed, but then he realized he was still outside the window.

He floated around to the door, but he thought it was too obvious, so he hovered in through the floor of carpets and yelled "Light, where are my apples i can't find them in the roof"  
Light stared at Ryuk for a couple seconds. "Wait, what the hell! Why is there a shinigami in my room!"  
Ryuk stared into Light's eyes and punched his fist into his eye socket and pulled out elmo. "Oh, thanks Ryuk." Light added.

Ryuk got bored of reading "How to Read for Dummies: Essay Edition", so he floated into the other room. Light paid him no mind dollars.  
Just then, Light's phone rang. It was L.  
"Hello?" Light answered.  
"Is this the Kira residence?" the voice on the other line asked.  
"L, this is Light, I'm not Kira."  
"Curses, I thought you might fall for that one." L hung up.  
Just as Light put his phone down, it started to ring again. "God dammit, L." However, it was Watari.  
"Hello?` "Witam, jestes sprzedawca?" Watari whispered.  
"Watari, what the hell?"  
"Cie dotknac?" Watari screamed into the phone, and then passed out and somehow hung up.  
Light was petrified at that last comment. He couldn't accept Watari's request, not with Misa around.  
Light turned his head three inches AND THEN SUDDENLY MISA. Light facepalmed, and threw her out the window Ryuk repaired.

All of a sudden, Light heard yelling and shattering jars from the other room, and his desk started to rumble.  
He could hear Ryuk yelling "HUUURUUUUGHUUUUUUUU!"  
"Ryuk, what the hell are you doing back there?"  
Light walked into the room and saw Ryuk sodomizing a giraffee.  
"RYUK WHAT THE FUCK!"  
"sorry" Ryuk said. He shuffled the giraffee off the cliff, and went to bed, as did Light.  
- CHAPTER 1 END -


	2. Chapter 2

Light was out for a walk down his street, thinking about how to out smart L. His puzzled expression got people to walk up to him, invade his personal bubble, and stare at him intensely, as if it was another episode of "extreme staring contests". Light suddenly know who's names he would wright in the death note next: Strawberry Shortcake. Whenever he took a bite of it, he would swallow a fork. Light was never sure where the fork came from, he even ate with his hands once, but that fork was still there. Crazy guy.

Light opened the window to his house. He couldn't be bothered to use the door; if he did L might think he's Kira, trying to blend in. He sledded through the window, then forgot he had left his bag outside, so he opened the door, but froze just as he hit the doorframe. "Dammit, legs!" he screamed in agony. He quickly ran to Sayu's garage and got a saw and began to saw down the metal door to smithereens. "That ought to keep L off my trail" he though. He flew into the window, walked up, the stairs, and went for the doorknob of his room.

As his swelling hands grasped the doorknob, he could hear liquid in his room. "Ryuk? What are you doing, motorbiking in my room AGAIN! I told you, only do that on the 17th of November if it's a Tuesday..." Light opened the door, and a sea of orange juice flew into his shirt. "sorry about that" he could hear Ryuk say. "Ryuk where are you!" "Columbia" "ah ok"  
- CHAPTER 2 END -  



	3. Chapter 3

light walked up to ryuk light: have you seen the plot ryuk: no light: ok - CHAPTER 3 END - 


	4. Chapter 4

It was a steamy winter night. Mikami just finished his paper work that he was working on because he's a lawyer but he's also ex-Kira but nobody knows that yet.

He grinned at his doodling over his paperwork. Never before had anyone drawn just fantastic stickmen before; the lovely curves of their head, and those sharp lines for their bodys. They almost made Mikami want to...

The door swung open. Mikami was alerted of a pressence of somebody who wasn't normally in his house by the sound and visual of the slamming door of the person who probably wanted to see Mikami. He turned his neck ninty degrees clockwise, and another one eighty degrees, and he saw...him.

The aged man had white hair, a suit, a monocle, another suit, and a mustache. His name tag read "NOT-WATARI". Mikami was puzzled.

"Just who are you, thinking you can waltz into my bathroom like that?" Mikami said, with a stern look on his face.

"Actually, I tangoed into your bathroom." NOT-WATARI replied.

"Oh, okay." Mikami replied, turning his swirly sink around back to his doodled, giggling like a little school elephant.

To be continued...  
To be continued...

- CHAPTER 4 END- 


	5. Chapter 5  The end?

Light was sitting on the tree and lamenting his plan.

"Surely I will catch Kira today!"

Light jumped from the tree and into the concrete. He began swimming to Hawaii in hopes of finding Kira. However, he only found Ryok.

"Ryuk, what ate you here?"

"Some potato. I think they're name was Kira"

Oh no. Light jumped at Ryok and pulled out millions of jars out of his ears. But the thing was, Ryok had no ears, only wasabi.

The wasabi was not Kira.

SERIES END -

Or maybe no


End file.
